Letters dated Jan 2004 to Aug 2004
January 12, 2004
Dear Larry,
A new year is here and
There isn’t a day that I don’t think about you and miss you.
I know that you didn’t want to leave me.
I remember I use to worry about that a lot.
That you would leave me.
I never thought it would be the way it was though.
I know in my heart that you fought against leaving me with all you had.
I’m only sorry that you had to suffer so much.
I would never have asked you to stay if I knew it was going to be so painful for you.
It was just so hard letting you go.
I’m not sure I have let you go yet.
I know it’s selfish of me to want you back,
But I do.
I miss you so much.
I can only hope that wherever you are,
You are at peace and with those friends & family that went before you.
Who knows, maybe you are having such a good time
That you don’t even miss me.
In some ways I hope that is true.
I wouldn’t want you to feel the pain that I do.
You had enough pain in this life,
You earned a time without pain.
I only hope you are at peace.
I still miss you more than words can say.
You were and are the better half of me.
You are still my best friend, my true love and my soul mate.
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Love
Sue
January 29, 2004
Dear Larry,
This time last year I sat watching you,
Feeling that you would get better and be with me forever.
I had so much hope.
Deep down I think I knew you wouldn’t
But oh how I wanted you to get better.
I never wanted to be without you like now.
I need you so much.
I need your strength and your love to keep me going.
I keep telling myself that you are in a better place.
That you aren’t in pain anymore.
But I need you to help me get through the night.
The days aren’t so bad because I can keep busy,
But at night I miss and need you so much.
I feel like a shell that is empty inside.
I miss you more than words can say.
I will always love you and you will always be a part of me.
For you are my best friend, my true love and my soul mate
And without you I am not whole.
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Love
Sue
April 6, 2004
Dear Lar,
You are constantly in my thoughts.
In everything I do and everything I see
You are there.
I know it’s not right of me to want you back here with me.
But it hurts so much not having you here to touch.
This time last year you were still here.
Even tho you couldn’t talk to me
I could hold you , feel you, kiss you.
What I would give to be able to do that again.
I know now that it will never be the same with anyone else.
That it is you that I need.
I still miss you more than words can say.
You were and are the better half of me.
You are still my best friend, my true love and my soul mate.
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Yours forever
Sue
April 13, 2004
Dearest Heart of Mine,
One year ago your soul left this life that we had shared for so long.
For one year my heart has ached,
The tears have fallen and I have missed you every day of that year.
I’m sure that I will miss you every day of the next year also.
Will it get easier- I don’t know!
All I know is that you would want me to go on with my life.
Which is what I try to do,
Maybe not in the same way you and I lived our life together,
But I do go on.
I wish I could put into words how I truly feel.
But I am afraid to say out loud the words that will make me sound so selfish.
I feel anger, not at you, but at the circumstances that leave me here without you.
I could never be mad at you.
I feel only sorrow that you had to go through all that you did.
It breaks my heart to think about the last year of your life.
I wish I had even a little of your strength, your will & your goodness.
I will get up in the morning and face another day without you.
The emptiness will still be with me in everything I do.
The memories of you will flood my being when I least expect it,
Making me miss you more than anything else in this life.
I will selfishly say to myself, as I do everyday,
Please come back to me, knowing that is not possible.
Tears will fall down my face, and I’ll wipe them away again.
I will go on with the day and not let anyone know the pain that I feel.
There isn’t anything anyone can do for the pain that I feel.
Life must go on for me, without you.
Please know that I love you and miss you more than words can say.
You are a part of me, my soul mate, my best friend, and the love of my life.
You are my existence!
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Yours forever
August 15, 2004
Dearest Larry,
I dreamed of you again last night.
It makes me ache so much when I wake and you aren’t next to me.
All I have is the memories of our times together.
I have come to realize just how lucky I was to have you in my life.
You accepted me for what I am.
You let me be me and you completed me.
You are my other half.
I truly don’t think that there will ever be anyone else in my life that can make me feel as you did.
You made me laugh so much. I only hope that I made you laugh also.
I hope that I filled you life with good things like you did mine.
I hope that I completed you.
I love your spontaneity, your wiliness to do anything at any time without stopping to worry about the consequences.
I miss them also because this is one of the things that made me complete.
What was missing in my life before you came into it.
I remember the first time I went with you.
I knew then that I did not want to be without you and that feeling stayed with me for the twenty three years we were together.
I’m sorry that you had to go through so much pain in the last few years but I ‘m so glad that I could be there with you through it all.
I hope you know that you were never alone.
My days are getting easier to get through.
I still ache for you but I am learning to bear it.
The ache doesn’t really ever go away.
There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
Please know that I love you and miss you more than words can say.
You are a part of me, my soul mate, my best friend, and the love of my life.
You are my existence!
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Yours forever
Your wife Sue
Dear Larry,
A new year is here and
There isn’t a day that I don’t think about you and miss you.
I know that you didn’t want to leave me.
I remember I use to worry about that a lot.
That you would leave me.
I never thought it would be the way it was though.
I know in my heart that you fought against leaving me with all you had.
I’m only sorry that you had to suffer so much.
I would never have asked you to stay if I knew it was going to be so painful for you.
It was just so hard letting you go.
I’m not sure I have let you go yet.
I know it’s selfish of me to want you back,
But I do.
I miss you so much.
I can only hope that wherever you are,
You are at peace and with those friends & family that went before you.
Who knows, maybe you are having such a good time
That you don’t even miss me.
In some ways I hope that is true.
I wouldn’t want you to feel the pain that I do.
You had enough pain in this life,
You earned a time without pain.
I only hope you are at peace.
I still miss you more than words can say.
You were and are the better half of me.
You are still my best friend, my true love and my soul mate.
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Love
Sue
January 29, 2004
Dear Larry,
This time last year I sat watching you,
Feeling that you would get better and be with me forever.
I had so much hope.
Deep down I think I knew you wouldn’t
But oh how I wanted you to get better.
I never wanted to be without you like now.
I need you so much.
I need your strength and your love to keep me going.
I keep telling myself that you are in a better place.
That you aren’t in pain anymore.
But I need you to help me get through the night.
The days aren’t so bad because I can keep busy,
But at night I miss and need you so much.
I feel like a shell that is empty inside.
I miss you more than words can say.
I will always love you and you will always be a part of me.
For you are my best friend, my true love and my soul mate
And without you I am not whole.
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Love
Sue
April 6, 2004
Dear Lar,
You are constantly in my thoughts.
In everything I do and everything I see
You are there.
I know it’s not right of me to want you back here with me.
But it hurts so much not having you here to touch.
This time last year you were still here.
Even tho you couldn’t talk to me
I could hold you , feel you, kiss you.
What I would give to be able to do that again.
I know now that it will never be the same with anyone else.
That it is you that I need.
I still miss you more than words can say.
You were and are the better half of me.
You are still my best friend, my true love and my soul mate.
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Yours forever
Sue
April 13, 2004
Dearest Heart of Mine,
One year ago your soul left this life that we had shared for so long.
For one year my heart has ached,
The tears have fallen and I have missed you every day of that year.
I’m sure that I will miss you every day of the next year also.
Will it get easier- I don’t know!
All I know is that you would want me to go on with my life.
Which is what I try to do,
Maybe not in the same way you and I lived our life together,
But I do go on.
I wish I could put into words how I truly feel.
But I am afraid to say out loud the words that will make me sound so selfish.
I feel anger, not at you, but at the circumstances that leave me here without you.
I could never be mad at you.
I feel only sorrow that you had to go through all that you did.
It breaks my heart to think about the last year of your life.
I wish I had even a little of your strength, your will & your goodness.
I will get up in the morning and face another day without you.
The emptiness will still be with me in everything I do.
The memories of you will flood my being when I least expect it,
Making me miss you more than anything else in this life.
I will selfishly say to myself, as I do everyday,
Please come back to me, knowing that is not possible.
Tears will fall down my face, and I’ll wipe them away again.
I will go on with the day and not let anyone know the pain that I feel.
There isn’t anything anyone can do for the pain that I feel.
Life must go on for me, without you.
Please know that I love you and miss you more than words can say.
You are a part of me, my soul mate, my best friend, and the love of my life.
You are my existence!
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Yours forever
August 15, 2004
Dearest Larry,
I dreamed of you again last night.
It makes me ache so much when I wake and you aren’t next to me.
All I have is the memories of our times together.
I have come to realize just how lucky I was to have you in my life.
You accepted me for what I am.
You let me be me and you completed me.
You are my other half.
I truly don’t think that there will ever be anyone else in my life that can make me feel as you did.
You made me laugh so much. I only hope that I made you laugh also.
I hope that I filled you life with good things like you did mine.
I hope that I completed you.
I love your spontaneity, your wiliness to do anything at any time without stopping to worry about the consequences.
I miss them also because this is one of the things that made me complete.
What was missing in my life before you came into it.
I remember the first time I went with you.
I knew then that I did not want to be without you and that feeling stayed with me for the twenty three years we were together.
I’m sorry that you had to go through so much pain in the last few years but I ‘m so glad that I could be there with you through it all.
I hope you know that you were never alone.
My days are getting easier to get through.
I still ache for you but I am learning to bear it.
The ache doesn’t really ever go away.
There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
Please know that I love you and miss you more than words can say.
You are a part of me, my soul mate, my best friend, and the love of my life.
You are my existence!
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Yours forever
Your wife Sue
posted by Lady Sue | 1:48 PM
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