March 28th

Dear Larry,
I feel a black cloud hanging over me.
I have this ache in my heart.
I keep thinking that this time three years ago you were still alive.
You could still look at me.
Four years ago you were holding me in your arms.
Five years ago we were laughing together.
If only I could have those years back.
Memories are all I have now and I want so much more.
Part of me wants to believe that we will be together again.
But then part of me feels that will never happen.
That there is nothing out there after death.
No angels.
I really can't imagine you being an angel with wings and all.
I think "heaven" would be too boring for you, all those rightous people
and you were too good of a person to go to "hell".
I do know that you believed in both, unlike me, the heathen that I am.
We never really discussed our religious beliefs much
but I always knew you were a believer.
You were such a good person.
Maybe not a church goer but you were good inside.
I wish I could have a little of your strength right now.
I know the next few weeks will be hard for me
What with all the memories of your last days with me.
April 13th you left this world that we shared and every day since
I've missed you more than words can say.
My heart has ached for missing you.
The tears have flowed from my eyes when I least expect them.
I will keep this all to myself.
Let people think that I am all right,
that time has made it easier for me to go through each day without you.
The only thing time has done is gone by slowly.
It serves no purpose to let others know my pain
So I go on as if everything is alright.
Thankful that I can at least come here and "talk" with you again.
To tell you that I miss you more than words can say.
That I love you with all of my heart.
That you are my soul mate, my other half, my best friend, my lover, my everything.
I love and miss you with every fiber of my body, soul and heart.
Yours forever
Sue